Teacher Humor

You might not fully appreciate this if you are not a teacher.

We have a problem, a big, orange problem.

I have been asked to play in a faculty / staff basketball game.
*insert music: dum, dadumdum duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum

I, the shortest teacher on my hall...
I, the once-athletic girl who WISHED with all her might that she could successfully dribble a basketball down-court without pinging it off of her foot...
I, the girl who consistently fouled out of CHURCH basketball in the second quarter because she couldn't remember not to shoulder charge her opponent (in her defense, she was playing indoor soccer at the same time)...
I, the clutz who preferred to run sprints barefooted in soccer on the rainy days when we would practice in the junior high gym (not sure why we did that anyway) because I would trip over my tennis shoes...
I, the moron who did indeed score a basket (woop, two points!) ONCE for my FBCC basketball team, only to realize it was for the other team (this is for real, I would never bring this type of false embarrassment to myself)...
I, the cool teacher who will never again be considered cool after air-balling my jump shot...

have been asked to put all of these things on display in front of over 300 ninth graders.

Kids are mean.

I am doomed.

freshman frenzied

Teaching ninth graders is quite an experience.
I love my job. One year ago (when I taught third graders) I'm not sure if I would have said that.
Changing jobs has truly been one of the most rewarding things I have ever done for myself. I had no idea that teaching high school kids could be so much fun. Everyday is a joy.
That's not to say that we don't have bad days. Today, for example, one of my students decided to flip her you-know-what in first period. And, if one gets going, they ALL chime in. Some on the side of the student who is feeling the need to pitch a fourteen-year-old fit; some on the side of poor Mrs. Bishop (they still can't get that right).
A bad attitude is the one thing that I cannot handle, from anyone. Never has been. I hate hate hate a bad attitude. Today that kid got me. I have a temper. Some people are surprised to hear me say this, but I feel this is true. I often have a good hold on my emotions (in public at least) and can keep my thoughts/actions/feelings hidden. Not today.
I felt my face flush.
My breath shortened.
Every muscle in my body tensed up.

Somehow, someway instead of yelling at this girl, which, let's be honest here, is REALLY what I wanted to do, I kept silent. I wanted to give her one of those good movie moment teacher-gets-in-a-student's face and goes off scenerios, but I knew that would blow my credibility as the laid back teacher that I've worked so hard to build over last few months. Whew...it was close though. Really close.

I did manage, through clenched teeth, to order the class to read Romeo and Juliet silently to themselves. As if they were actually going to do that and get anything out of it.

This lasted for about 5 minutes.

After Mrs. Bishop Taylor regained her composure, we proceeded to hurl Shakespearean insults at one another.

Thou purpled onion-eyed rabbit sucker!

Such fun.